Pulpit Percolators Pillows

"For those of you visiting our church for the first time just raise your hand and our ushers will refresh your coffee."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

Thou Shalt Not!

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"I just don't get it! Why don't humans protect us? Don't they know they would be doomed without us?"

No Mow May

Employee of the month...

'We are gathered here...'

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

'I knew the day would come when we'd regret moving next door to a genetic research facility.'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

'Single-use' - Word of the year 2018

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

The Hummingbird

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

Commuter doing some gardening on the train

Look at all the pretty flowers....Neonicotinoids.

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

Garbage is a collector's item.

'Here's your room... Just put your sample in here and buzz me when you're ready.'

Harold Wilson

Priest and mobile

"Don't throw it away when you're done. Repurpose, like I did."