Pulley Ponderer Pillows

Elevator Repair School. First thing, forget the old saying "What goes up, must come down"!

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Thinking and thinking backwards.

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

Keystone XL

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

"Is there a God?"

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

"Take a few minutes to introduce yourself, Ms. Berry. Not that they don't already have you pegged."

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

Bizarre sights.

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

'Mind you, I'm not responsible for the entire pipeline ?' just the section that flows through my office.'

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

"Who's next?"

"Hang on - I've forgotten the question!"

"You know what your problem is? You think too much."

Man imagines his pregnant partner as an impossible bottle.

Dr. Rontgens shadow.

Cartoon heading in the right direction.

Quick Crossword.