Puck Whiz Pillows

'Could you wait until I drop the puck next time?'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Hockey Season.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

Hockey Goal

His Other Shtick

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

'Would you like me to check your coat?'

"Prozzac"

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

"He should've passed the puck."

Skate! Skate! Skate!

Hockey player with dollar sign "It was in his contract."

'A meeting of the 'Bandy' association for the promotion of 'Hockey on the ice.''

'OK. Let's see your slapshot.'

'Your goalie is out with the flu, I'm a temp, ,,, So, what's the object of this little game'

Dueling Pianos

"Look! The first fight of the NHL season."

There comes a point when you may have to admit the truth: you stink.

Ice Fisherman on the Hockey Rink

'I'd say pound-for-pound he's the best player in professional hockey.'

Ice hockey player with testicles on his stick.

'They're renegotiating their contracts with the team owner during half time.'

"I'm your last line of defense and your attorney."

"And this is a crossword puzzle I'm working on."