Puck Lover Pillows

NHL's toughest coach: 'I'm sick of all this whining! Hockey's a rough game!. . . Now get back out there!'

'Well, here's a news flash: Your front teeth got knocked out. So, How's the family?'

Hockey Season.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

His Her Cakes

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

"And would sir and madam like to start with the dessert menu?"

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

The Hockey Puckey

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

"I see a couch."

Dessert

'...According to the survey, Canadians prefer the doggie style positions, so the can both keep watching the Hockey game...'

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

The Puck Stops Here.

'Hefner is thinking about the off season already.'

Curling Rocks!

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'Hello, 9-1-1? I need a rescue team right away... The prof is in the pudding.'

'You finish those veggies or you get no pud.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

'The defense rests.'

His Other Shtick

"This won't hurt your diet, mom. It's a carrot cake."

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

Prosecco and Pudding

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."

"Mom, do we have any more whipped cream?"

What dogs want for Christmas.

'Aunt Clara! Buddie's ant farm is raiding the banana pudding!'

'Would you like me to check your coat?'

"Hang on, Mother. The paramedics are on the way. I'll be right back—just going to check the score of the Blackhawks game."

"Prozzac"

Hold it! I dropped a contact lens.