Puck Lover Pillows

'Well, here's a news flash: Your front teeth got knocked out. So, How's the family?'

Hockey Season.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

His Her Cakes

"And would sir and madam like to start with the dessert menu?"

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

"I see a couch."

'...According to the survey, Canadians prefer the doggie style positions, so the can both keep watching the Hockey game...'

Dessert

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

Curling Rocks!

'Hefner is thinking about the off season already.'

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'Hello, 9-1-1? I need a rescue team right away... The prof is in the pudding.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

'You finish those veggies or you get no pud.'

His Other Shtick

"This won't hurt your diet, mom. It's a carrot cake."

'The defense rests.'

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."

Prosecco and Pudding

'Would you like me to check your coat?'

"Hang on, Mother. The paramedics are on the way. I'll be right back—just going to check the score of the Blackhawks game."

"Prozzac"

"Mom, do we have any more whipped cream?"

Hold it! I dropped a contact lens.

'Aunt Clara! Buddie's ant farm is raiding the banana pudding!'

"He should've passed the puck."

Economics LOL.

'It's the thirteenth lamppost today...he's a golden reliever.'