Publication Manager T-Shirts

"It's finally happened. This magazine has more subscription cards than pages!"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

This Message Has No Content

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

King Solomon's Pollster.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

JET (Part I)

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

Alien Beauty Magazine

'How fast can you hype?'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

Snow White and her Seven people.

'This is a marketing position for 'Which?' magazine.'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."