Public Transportation Observer Pillows

A vampire is positioned upside down at a bus stop, looking at its cell phone.

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Cake Walk.

Bus for Giraffes.

The successful rubbernecker...

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

'I turned the corner and hit the tree. It was all over in a matter of hours.'

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

Crossing the Road

Spiderman's tummy rumbles on the subway

"Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?"

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

Drive Thru Police Station

"I gave you the wheel and this is what you did with it?"

Man - spreading.

Journey to work on the train.

"Business sure picked up since the highway went through."

'The miles per gallon it gets for city driving is an urban legend.'

'Hi I'm on the train...still'

Rail Information

Waiting for Godot. . . Updated HS2 Route

Welcome to New York City: Restrooms for customers only.

"I'm not a scaredy-cat - I'm phobic."

First place / Second place next exit.

Man thinking it's safer driving a tank

'Passengers without a driver? Sounds like my local rail operator.'

"That means you, pal!"

"I just love the bank holiday getaway. . . Four hours stuck behind a caravan."

When I got a new job a while ago, I discovered the right career really does lead to more success with women! Now women seem to like the places I take them! In some relationships, we've moved forward quickly! It's amazing -- for the first time in my life I've actually had women chasing after me! Oh I get it , Ernie! You're driving a bus! Yeah, things are great now that I'm in the driver's seat! (Published originally on July 24, 2011.)

Bus to the Woods

'Boy, glad i'm not out there amongst all that driving rain!'

Politeness Tips From the M.T.A.