Public Service Aficionado Gifts

For sale. Lost the will to serve the public.

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Scapegoat of the Year

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

survival of the fittest

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Stephen King's latest horror novel: 'Healthcare reform debate'

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Privatisation of the NHS

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

"All our staff are equal, but the ones with qualifications are more equal than others."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

MI5 Press Office

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"Look, I'm for an orderly transfer of power, but all those who want me to resign immediately raise their shoe."

Director: US Space Research.

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

The Militant Unionist

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

'No, we haven't made a decision on your promotion. We're still looking for a reason to deny it.'

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

Auditor General.