Public Safety Officer Pillows

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

Political Safety

"It's not a spike in crime, it's a spike in REPORTING crime that was there all along. So... that's better, right?"

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

hard-boiled egg...

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'You know too much,'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Please Drove Carefully.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Airport Security.

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Trump secret police