Public Safety Advisor T-Shirts

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

Death to the Extremists

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"Mr. President-elect, the NSA is ready for your directives on who to spy on and how much."

The proper way to wear your mask

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Unsafe Drain Covers!

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

North Korea

Just Another Sloe News Day

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

Statue of Liberty with Gas Mask

"The only thing that stops a bad shark is a good shark."

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

Thank you for being able to celebrate in person and remotely. That you for the first responders who keep us safe. Thank you for the healthcare works who keep us healthy. Thank you for farmers and others who made this feast possible. Thank you for those who make pants with strong buttons!

'That is the bike lane...'

State Insurance Office Covering School Shootings

"The new power suit — classic pinstripe with body armor."

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

"If we go next door there's a 'bobby on the beat'."

"Except moles, madam."

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

Government a la Carte

"Well, I should probably go—work's really starting to pile up."

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

"It's not a spike in crime, it's a spike in REPORTING crime that was there all along. So... that's better, right?"