Health And Safety Advisor T-Shirts

'It'll spoil the view ... what about migratory birds ... will it trigger seizures?'

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

Cafe Burns.

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

Govt. UK led by Seance

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

'This is your lucky day!'

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Rule one: Never work without a net. Rule two: Specify the type of net.

Office Safety.

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

"The good news is that your husband will never again ignore the company's safety instructions..."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Jim's Smart Kettle

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"Now they're saying shiny things attached to hooks are bad for you."

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'

Food Pyramid.

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

Snowman wearing a mask

Safety last.

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."