Health And Safety Advisor T-Shirts

'It'll spoil the view ... what about migratory birds ... will it trigger seizures?'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

Cafe Burns.

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

Govt. UK led by Seance

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'This is your lucky day!'

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part Five

Rule one: Never work without a net. Rule two: Specify the type of net.

Office Safety.

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"The good news is that your husband will never again ignore the company's safety instructions..."

"Now they're saying shiny things attached to hooks are bad for you."

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'

Jim's Smart Kettle

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

Snowman wearing a mask

Food Pyramid.

I'm not fighting you until you show me your mask.

Safety last.

"Better safe than sorry, son."