Public Radio Loyalist Pillows

"It ain't over until NPR says it's over!"

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

Voter impatience.

Replica Football Merchandise

Ball and Chain

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'What do you mean foul? I had a shower this morning!'

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

'Yes, we're having another fund raiser but, please don't give! Who cares if honest intelligent radio goes silent forever?'

". . . and I leave my whole estate to my one true companion, public radio."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

"Today on the Godcast, what if I told you 'commandments' were more like 'suggestments?'"

The Republican Machine

'That's what I like about him, he always pays his round.'

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

"A paperback?! Iv'e got hundreds of books saved on this."

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

'I just want a candidate who doesn't make me flinch.'

"Help you look for Elvis? Sorry, I'm a Louis Armstrong fan myself."

While the world's attention has be focused on Vatican city this week, devotions continue in Washington, D.C.

"No, your book didn't 'lock up' on you. You actually have to turn the page."

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

Reality Football

'That's just for TV and radio stations - KIDS can't do Pledge Week!'

"They've got no talent...he sings off key...they've got no rhythm...they look like slobs...I'd say you've got a huge hit on your hands!"

"Not a phone call in days, and just LOOK at the pledge board! If we don't start hearing from some of you, dinosaurs might very well become a thing of the past!"

"Good Lord! PBS is having a telethon marathon."