Public Radio Listening Pillows

"How can you call yourself a left-leaning audiophile if you've never heard NPR on vinyl?"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

Easy & Hard Listening Rock Radio.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

Not-so-easy listening...

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

Clive Anderson

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

'I composed the ad jingle in my dreams: 'Hey, this flying monkey's the one for you ...'.'

'Golden Oldies are now songs I hated when my kids were teens.'

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."

New symbol for Public TV: 'The tin cup' (PBS)

Welcome to "The Ask Sadie Show," pre-Halloween edition. First caller is Zombie Eaton, from Schenectady. What's your problem?! Munch

"They're dumbing down the news now!"

'Coming up next. . . our traffic and weather report.'

Good morning and welcome to National Public Radio, you bloated capitalist swine!

Pallbearers sitting around radio: 'This just in! Tributes are pouring in for the legendary tenor Pavarotti, who passed away earlier today....'

Dear listeners, Some troubling news. I have learned a special prosecutor wants to know the source for my scoop that Mitch McConnell has a crush on Dr. Pimple Popper star Dr. Sandra Lee. I will tell you this – I will never reveal my source. I'd sooner go to jail, as scary as that would be to my friends and family. Guess who's in the dating market again! Bad girl.

'PBS is weird -- they just ran an eight-hour commercial about how they never have commercials.'

Things can only get worse...

"Sorry, I was driving under the influence of a bull market radio report."

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

"You'll have to be X-rayed, Mr. Jensen. I seem to be picking up Rush Limbaugh."

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

"Play Misty for me."

"Funding for 'Nova' is provided by Merck and Lockheed, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by annual financial support from viewers like you."

Santa hears mention of Christmas on the radio.

"And he hits it, and the other guy hits it back, and the first guy hits it, and the second guy hits it back and-"