Public Notices Gifts

Competitions.

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

'Now that we've dispensed with minutes of our last meeting, I'd like to introduce the first item under 'new business'. I'm pregnant.'

Uh

'The Senator's afraid he's irked his base. I don't know if he needs political advice or medical attention.'

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

"I got a job for the king!" "Shirley, you jest!"

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

Announcement at teatime

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

"Quick! Am I the Independent Counsel or the Special Prosecutor?"

"If we're going to keep this quite, we'll need a public enquiry."

Marshal, when you said you were going to clean up this town, we thought you meant...'

'For me, this gives a new meaning to the phrase 'voter turnout'.'

Attempting to a Political Career

Man contemplates breaking an organ grinder's instrument whilst he is drinking

Yeah, we totally need to post a relationship status update.

Results of a Smoking Survey - 'They weren't very passive about smoking'

It was … Beep. Unread text notification. It was … Yo, what up? It was the … Reading@tree. It was the … Beep. Facebook update notification. It was the best of … Beep, beep. New tweet. It was the best of times, it was the worst … Beep, beep, beep!!!

It's the Fad Herald. I should've upgraded my phone. Hear ye. Today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Hope. Until further notice, that tingly, expectant feeling you're experiencing may be interpreted as optimism, mild euphoria, the illusion of better times ahead. Wow. Now that you mention it. Cool. Wait ... What do you man by illusion? Looking ahead to 2020 trends: Disappointment. Nah. We'll be fine, I'm sure.

I Scream

The Sun Comes Out

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

"Due to budget cuts we had to combine our athletic fields."

Secretary of Comedy Meeting with Other Cabinet Members

"Frankly, the 'Beehive News' is boring: It's all about work, work, work..."

Lindsey Takes the Oath

"I joined a seniors' computer group. They send me a newsletter to help us better understand the benefits and conveniences of these things."

'Books about local libraries? We're moving them to the history section.'

Antisocial Behaviour

'If elected, I would reduce government spending - by freeing all prisoners.'

'...and 10 more years, because I'm running for re - election and we're on TV!'

A younger Bob wouldn't have let that stop him.