Public Health Commentators Pillows

MLB Owners, Players, Fans

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

The End Is Nigh. . . Told You

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

Take a pill so you won't be one.

VACCINATION REFUSAL

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

'We believe it was at THIS point that the species became extinct.'

"Why not?"

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

Confined by Coronavirus

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"Thank you all for coming to this small enclosed space to discuss a deadly and highly communicable disease."

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

"The new lockdown guidelines are that up to ten people can go to funerals and ten thousand to demonstrations."

"Actually I feel great but I read on the coronavirus blog that that might just be a symptom."

"And he can make 347,000 home visits in one night!"

Vis10n Impaired

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

The Visitor

Health Foods

Swine Flu danger as a pandemic

'I haven't read the health columns this morning. Is coffee out or in today?'

'Yours is an elective surgery, so we're still deciding if we feel like doing it or not.'

Obesity in America.

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

"The little thin girl inside you that wants to get out now weighs 200 pounds!"

Well at least there's consistency in SOME things.