Public Broadcasting Aficionado Gifts

'PBS has such sophisticated comedies -- that guy just got hit in the face with a crème brulée.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

Feelings towards radios #2 Picket signs with pictures of radios on them

Good morning and welcome to National Public Radio, you bloated capitalist swine!

'PBS is weird -- they just ran an eight-hour commercial about how they never have commercials.'

'Now, for the world from the street, we go to out embedded reporter...'

'Yes, we're having another fund raiser but, please don't give! Who cares if honest intelligent radio goes silent forever?'

"Mother, please!"

"And now, let’s welcome our keynote speaker... I truly have no idea who this person is, that’s how good and ghosty they are."

'And for those of you with weird brains, here is the financial news...'

Sports update: Some teams won and some teams lost.

"This Just In."

"I will not mince words, but may slice, dice, and finely chop."

'I'm running into lots of trouble with my ambition to be a shock jock.'

'Norman needed some help with his presentation technique'

". . . and I leave my whole estate to my one true companion, public radio."

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

'Excuse me... does anybody have some white-out?'

'I'm getting a lot of feedback. Could you all turn down the volume in your hair bit?'

"Mr. Romney, Ted Nugent is still holding on line three."