Public Announcement Aficionado T-Shirts

'That's just not right, coach. I mean, yeah, you deserve to get canned. But they could have found a less expensive way to let you know.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"It's time to get politics out of money."

Mark Anthony on Zoom.

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

A big dog at lectern.

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

SELF-FULFILLMENT SEMINAR: 'Stop letting people walk on you'

"I'd like to introduce our guest speaker, here to speak about the phenomenon of deja vu."

"I actually don't have anything to say, but I missed the sound of my own voice."

'PBS is weird -- they just ran an eight-hour commercial about how they never have commercials.'

"Our scheduled speaker isn't available to make it here today, but luckily we have a surprise speaker..."

You don't need to use air quotes for your own words, Mr. Lincoln.

"Just a signature and my alimony check."

"You have to admire the way he never lets common sense interfere with his judgement."

"I will not mince words, but may slice, dice, and finely chop."

"And now, let’s welcome our keynote speaker... I truly have no idea who this person is, that’s how good and ghosty they are."

"Mother, please!"

'Norman needed some help with his presentation technique'

". . . and I leave my whole estate to my one true companion, public radio."

'I'm getting a lot of feedback. Could you all turn down the volume in your hair bit?'

'Excuse me... does anybody have some white-out?'

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

'Sometimes I wonder about PBS -- they're counting down the top 100 Gregorian chants.'

"Mr. Romney, Ted Nugent is still holding on line three."

"I think you should all consider yourself very fortunate to be here considering how few seats there are for this event."

"Please welcome Doctor Simpkins, author of 'Good Posture: The Key to Power and Wealth."

"Welcome to my TED talk."