Puberty Navigator Gifts

The statue of puberty.

Many scientists think that�Snap. Galaxies exploded into existence. Huge stars appeared from nowhere. Crackle. And the universe suddenly expanded. Pop. I think I just expanded out of my bra. Wow! You proved the big bang theory.

When I wet the bed at my first sleepover? Worse. When I asked what they served at the bar at Josh's Bar Mitzvah? Worse. I give up. What humiliating experience did you just endure? Shudder. My mom said she's taking me bra shopping. At least you need to go bra shopping.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

Suddenly...puberty hit Irwin!

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

Mine Shaft of Love.

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

Homeless count.

Motorway of the Self

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

...In a Relationship

Bumper Cars of Love.

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."