Puberty Navigator Pillows

The statue of puberty.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

Suddenly...puberty hit Irwin!

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

Homeless count.

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

Motorway of the Self

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

...In a Relationship

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"I wouldn't worry, at his age grunting to communicate is quite normal."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."