Pterodactyl Personifier Pillows

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"Little help?"

"More documents to shred? I feel I have more to offer this company than sharp claws."

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

'That morning, nature got to work early...'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."

Spilled Milk

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

Man and dog stuck on an island in the ocean: dog wants to have a walk.

"Since when are you into heavy metal?"

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

'I guess we both enjoy long slow walks together.'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

Ventriloquist Speech Therapy.

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't collect on your mate's life insurance until he's died nine times.'

"Of course this is GM free grass..."

"Your entire body is riddled with chestnuts."

Kangaroo walking rabbit.

Man and his dog walk along concerned about what they might've forgotten to do.

''Woof, Woof, Woof.' You call that a blog entry?'

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!

'It's a trade-off. Either we let him sleep here or we turn up the thermostat.'

"Bad dog."

Collie F, 4 yrs old, well-trained, knows many tricks, wants to meet M, collie, afghan or greyhound. No mutts please.