Psychosis Ponderer Pillows

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Why bother?"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

No Immediate Danger

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Needs to get a life"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Schrödinger and his cat

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"You dropped yer wallet."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Conspiracy Cat

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

Max Weber