Psychobabble Fan Pillows

"I see you're into personal growth."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

The Alpha Seltzer

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Cat Burglar

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Wiener Dog . . . Dog Wiener

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'There is a drug for Hypochondria... but the side-effects may actually make you sick!'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

Surgeon walks through hospital where sign says, 'No Stresspassing'.

"Oh, I'm fine. I just had to take a personal day to recharge my batteries."

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

Praying mantis.

"Streaming"

Business Promotion.

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

S**t Threw a Goose

"The etchings are in the library."

"I'm terrible taking tests, too. I always freeze."

'You have a fauxbia.'