Psychic Skeptics Pillows

'If it's any consolation, Mr. Nostro couldn't have known what hit him.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"You're solemates!"

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

Crystal Ball Plug

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'