Psychic Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Don't take that tone of thought with me."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Trappist Monk Discord

Misunderstood artist

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

Some scents are nonsense.

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Psychic diving competition.

Clone Factory

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

"Inactivists"

Trump Tariffs

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Prescription Drugs '96.

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"It's ironic. It looks like you're here because you're such a bad cartoonist."

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'