Psychiatric Nurse Gifts

"You must learn to let go."

"You're not mad enough yet to qualify for treatment...Come back when you're mad enough to think we might listen to you!"

'The Doctor just finished his rounds. I better go soothe the patient's psyches.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Split personality patient with two appointments

'Your 2 o'clock has cancelled, he says you depress him!'

"I was on the cutting edge, but I got too many paper cuts, so I quit."

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

2021

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

International Women's Day

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

vaccine wars.

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."