Psg Fan Pillows

Neymar

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Raheem Sterling

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Centaur Forward

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Egyptian Football

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Watching the football.

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Football

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Men can show their emotions!

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Teenage Angst.