Prune Danish Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm only here for the prune danish. It's to die for.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Your French dip, sir.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Transylvanian backpackers.

Fast food. Even faster food

A Copy Editor and His Dog

hard-boiled egg...

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'