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A wiser and a better man

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

'I told you he's gonna be the next Warren Buffett!'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

Financial Prudence disappears.

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Concern Chart

"We can't go back to what we do best because that's obsolete now!"

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

His investment advisor gave him a new mantra.

Sale: His and Her's weekender bags.

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

"This year I'm really gonna get organized."

'As a graduation present my parents ae going to remodel their basement for my home.'

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

'I'm not asking anything for me but would you indicate to me as to whether you are bullish or bearish?'

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'