Precarious Planner T-Shirts

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

A wiser and a better man

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

'You dropped your day planner.'

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

'I'm not asking anything for me but would you indicate to me as to whether you are bullish or bearish?'

"Could you deliver 500 pizzas over there at the sports shop? Just ask for Hank at the frisbee department."

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

Cat's Calendar.

Prisoners escaping in bubbles.

Don't do it, kid. Think. Think.

Fisherman waiting with a mallet.

"Happy New Year"

For use in case of wrongful arrest.

"I'm using sticky notes to identify areas in my life that can be improved. This one says I need five bucks to buy more sticky notes."

Observe, Prepare, Act

'Even with the impact of global warming I think Timmy would be safe enough with factor 95'