Precarious Planner T-Shirts

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

Western Institute of Architectural Design - Congratulations class of 2005!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

A wiser and a better man

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

Having shrewdly grabbed a window fan to bulk up his shirt, Winston hoped his buff look would land him a date.

'You dropped your day planner.'

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

'I'm not asking anything for me but would you indicate to me as to whether you are bullish or bearish?'

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

"Could you deliver 500 pizzas over there at the sports shop? Just ask for Hank at the frisbee department."

Cat's Calendar.

Prisoners escaping in bubbles.

Don't do it, kid. Think. Think.

For use in case of wrongful arrest.

'Even with the impact of global warming I think Timmy would be safe enough with factor 95'

"Happy New Year"

"I'm using sticky notes to identify areas in my life that can be improved. This one says I need five bucks to buy more sticky notes."

'She is using that 16-buck cat litter! As soon as she's done, let's get in, act disgusted, then pee on the floor.'