Prude Ponderer Pillows

"I'm fine. She's just a prude."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"I'll have dessert first."

'White meat or dark?'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'I say we try it.'

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Zika Epidemic

Human meat.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

Walking on Water

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

A self-filling prophecy.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Various Birds of Pray.