Provocative Title Lover Pillows

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

Meet the author.

'It looks like Mel Brooks is at it again.'

"Bloody Graffiti."

'I was just given more responsibility. Now I am not only responsible for corporate mumbo but also for corporate jumbo.'

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

'How about 'I'm still breastfeeding my five year old, half ton, binge drinking, monkey baby'?'

'My career goals? Writing political attack ads would combine my love of blogging and bullying.'

Only Larry showed a look of concern as he remembered his mother's warnings that he should never run with Scissors.

"That reminds me, I must buy a new shredder."

Russell Brand.

Big cheese

Open Mic Nacht

'Actually, I don't see myself as a thought leader, but more of a thought manager."

'The author of 'Sex b*****s on acid' is here.'

"Something tells me we should avoid the sushi here!"

"Hi, I'm Dr. Jenkins." "Nice to meet you. I'm Bachelor of Science Johnson."

"This painting should be removed! It's way too saucy!"

"I was promoted from customer care executive to senior master customer care executive. That means 12 more letters."

'...and this develops their sense of aggression and ability to smash things.'

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.

"Is that the ultimate in debauchery - you dressing up in my underwear?"

Wedding nose ring

Seriously, why do I call you Dr. Kapuchnik, yet you call me Al? Okay, from now on you call me Al, and I'll call you Dr. Kapuchnik. Will that make you feel better?

Cafe Erotica

Rehab is for quitters.

Workmen cover up a modern art sculpture with a giant fig leaf.

"I'm not a babysitter; I'm a child care provider!"

'Nice to meet you. Plumber Greg.'

'Not only does the babysitter want more money, she now wants to be referred to as a child-care specialist!'