Provocative Fashion Fan Pillows

"My shirt offends you? Wait until you read the back."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Emergency Hipster Beard

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"He's deliciously vintage."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

Woman and a Mexican hat.

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

A man wearing a ruff and a feather cap

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Bernice Mountain Dog

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

"I believe in consistent branding."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Strange man has a nose monocle.

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Ms. Bronte has a bad Eyre day.

Hired Morning Suit

'I can't understand it, every time I wear a tuxedo, I wake up the next day with a blinding headache.'

"Changing room, my foot! You're still a grump."

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

1870's disco

'We have to move again -- I've worn out all the banks in town.'

"If you buy all three, we throw in the fourth boot for free."

'... And here's my bill, which includes ?12.95 for the T.shirt.'