Proud Supporter Of The Arts Gifts

I can't believe Randy works at a male strip club. I feel weird. I drank too much. You did not. You've had two drinks. Don't be a whiner. I think I love Rudy. Step away from the bottle, lush! I'm afraid.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

Leonore from Fidelio

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

Edmund Kean Supporting Drury Lane

Funding Cuts for the Arts

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

'Son I want you to Follow in My Footsteps.'

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

Rodin's Irish Judge

Can Can

"Yikes. I'm on in five minutes and still haven't figured out my character's motivation."

"So. Are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?"

The clown loses it at the circus and takes the 'fat lady' hostage with a cream pie 'I'm not clowning this time, back-off or the fat-lady gets it!'

Please consider donating your cancelled ticket so that we may sing again for you very soon.

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

"I majored in the humanities but I never really got it."

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

'Supporting the arts'

'How is his liberal arts degree going to help him in today's world?'

"That is today's special, sir, Spanish lobster flamenco."

"No, see...it's more like this...now that's funny!"

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

"You paid 1000 words for this picture!?"

Leaning tower of Pisa.

With Friends Like These

'He got a grant on the condition that he stop painting for a year.'

"I wish I could do hands..."

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

Ken Dodd

Lucia is further maddened by the early departure of a subscriber in a sports jacket.