Artistic Supporter Gifts

"Nonsense, Jay – my wife's ballet loses far more money than your wife's little theater company."

Applause

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

Edmund Kean Supporting Drury Lane

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

Please consider donating your cancelled ticket so that we may sing again for you very soon.

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

'Supporting the arts'

Leaning tower of Pisa.

"Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?"

With Friends Like These

'He got a grant on the condition that he stop painting for a year.'

"Now now Mrs Butterworth, you were warned that there were going to be cuts to the arts and crafts budget."

"Do you want my opinion as an art critic or as your best friend?"

Ken Dodd

FREElance Artists

"This show was made possible by a grant from Grandma."

"I set a limit: one pity play per actor friend per year."

'Bloody good idea!'

'He wants to be the best pianist in the world.'

"The department has run out of money..."

Man steps off ledge of high-rise, walks on roofs of buildings.

"Bring on The Wall, Donald!"

Musée d'Art Moderne

I can't believe Randy works at a male strip club. I feel weird. I drank too much. You did not. You've had two drinks. Don't be a whiner. I think I love Rudy. Step away from the bottle, lush! I'm afraid.

Young British Artists exhibition - "And this magnificent piece is by Tim Noble, and that bird he hangs around with."

'Music Lesson, Please Help.'

A musician is sleeping rough covered by sheet music.

"I see the art budget's been cut again."

'George likes to encourage young artists.'