Protocol Jester Pillows

"Sir, I've been debriefed, deprogrammed and debugged. May I go home now?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Hardware and software

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

Ski kicker.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

Never poke fun.

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I hate these commerical breaks!'