Protocol Jester Pillows

"Sir, I've been debriefed, deprogrammed and debugged. May I go home now?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Hardware and software

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Bad Interview Technique

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Ski kicker.

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'This decaf's lousy.'

Never poke fun.

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."