Protector Of The Night T-Shirts

'After we find the burglar, Dad, let's have a midnight snack!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Policeman talking to lost child

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Nun confronts mugger.

'The fence is to keep the public away - otherwise our pictures won't last five minutes.'

Overprotective Father

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

'She thinks of them as her children...'

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'

"Ralphie, no! Not on my Kindle!"

Thinking about TV.

"At least we don't have to worry about intruders now we have a dog."

'Jeckers, when I was a student we commonly at poultry...

"We're not getting a dog because I don't invest in non-profit ventures."

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Drop the can opener!'

Rabbits $5.

"You don't want me. I've got bird flu!"

Rescuing the Fish in the Flood

"Don't worry! I'm a very experienced babysitter."

Finance Company.

"Hon, I'm worried. She's been out there somewhere for 3 hours."

"Here's Mommy now!"

Don

'I want a heavy padlock and two dead bolts on the door.'

The Vigil

Lost.

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while a injured cat desribes him

"Who made this mess?"