Prosecution Pillows

Trial by Media

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Sue The Bastards

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

'The highest court in the land.'