Property Value Comparer T-Shirts

My equity is bigger than yours.

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"His father came from a family of climbers."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

"He's very finicky."

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'What I meditate on is we have rice and tea for lunch, and in the west they have burgers, fries and shakes.'

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

For Sale, just to find the true value.

'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

'I'm a little surprised you got planning permission.'

Life is a Fare War

'Going inside would lessen the impact.'

'Uh-oh, I think my saddle's on backward. . . No wait, I'm not wearing a saddle.'

Memoirs

"Perfect! but it's cheaper online."

"Yes, I know what all the comps say, but my house is special."

'How do you like those?' - 'Great, I can see the same pair across the road for £5 less.'

Window Shopping

House prices remain out of reach for most first-time buyers...

"I didn't say it was a magnificent luxury apartment, I said it had a view of a magnificent luxury apartment."

"Leave it, Taffy! That’ll hurt property values!"

'Here's the problem!'

'Not had problems with the shared driveway, have we, dear?'

Flat Nav - Still not in your price range.

'It's so cute when he he sits like that.'

"Such bargains on this side!"