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Commercial Real Estate

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

'This is close enough.'

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'