Property Scout Gifts

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

"It has tremendous possibilities."

'You'll need to put these on before the inspection.'

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"The seller is highly unmotivated."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

Starter Homes

Repossessions

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'I need to get a bigger place.'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

Little Investment on the Praire

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

"I'm looking for a house near the park."

Valuation of Heaven

"Thinking of buying a larger property are we, Madam?"