Property Shopping Gifts

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

“Can you show us something that will make our friends envious, but not too envious?”

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

Whatever you're thinking of buying, we promise to make you feel slightly inferior.

'It's close to all the main schools, but try not to let that put you off.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Starter Homes

"I know it's small and expensive, but wait till you see all the Pokemon."

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'I need to get a bigger place.'

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I'm looking for a house near the park."

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

"It has tremendous possibilities."

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

"I've just been gazumped!"

House Hunters of the Old West