Property Restoration T-Shirts

"We decided to restore our home to its original state."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"What old school? This is my life."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Do you buy cars here?"

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

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'For Sale by Neighbor'

Mouse real estate!

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"He's a hunter-gatherer-tinkerer-fixer-upper-restorer-reseller."

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

Architects and Engineers - Restoration of old Buildings.

'They did a great job in restoring all the 19th century details, but this confounded dress code...'

Under New Mismanagement

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

UP Again: Housing Prices.

For Sale By Owner

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500