Property Pondering T-Shirts

Solicitor tells divorcing couple: 'You must see that 'I'll have the bricks and she can have the mortar' is not very helpful,'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

An exaggeration of estate agents

Frog Baby Names

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"You've got termites."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

"Nothing can be done about crime unless you deal with the root causes in the environment."

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Fingers

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

Gas Prices

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

The thinker.

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

"That's way out of my price range..."

'Like I said - this property is only a stone's throw from the ocean!'

'Does that mean things are getting better or worse?'

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Gets Repossessed

'What's it all about?'

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

'All dogs have four legs. All tables have four legs. All dogs are tables."

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

"The imaginary people keep telling me that I'm crazy..."

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

A. Einstein. E = MC2. Yes, I do space-time research, but that doesn't mean I know how to get you out of your timeshare contract.