Property Ponderers Gifts

'Oh no! They're all coming back...'

Within your budget central London MIGHT be a problem. What about central Ulan Bator?"

"I'd like to say this will all be yours someday, but it's all rented."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Have you seen my money?

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

Karine Jean-Pierre

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

"You've got termites."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'You have to admire the way Hartley overcame his honesty and integrity to get to the top.'

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"Forget keeping all your eggs in one basket. What you need is a nest egg..."

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

Wall Street walking traffic sign flashes 'Worry' and 'Don't Worry.'

'Does that mean things are getting better or worse?'

"Why does my investment portfolio have a toe tag?"

'Look, they're slowing down.'

A batch of bills are abandoned near the end of the parliamentry session

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

"That's way out of my price range..."

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

The Hole that Divides

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

"It used to be called pensions."

'He's a stock market 'buzzard'? -- what does that mean?', 'He eats the dead bulls and bears.'