Property Mogul In Distress T-Shirts

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

The Golfing Accident

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"Sold his air rights."

"I hope we can flip it before the tide comes in."

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'They're playing house.'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

Real Estate Depression

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

"It may well be the root of all evil, but it's also the root of all this."

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

"Try not to see them as a ridiculously expensive pile of bricks but rather as a value for money self build opportunity!"

'If you kiss me, I'll cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to soar, manufacturing and trade data to re-accelerate, and housing to rebound significantly throughout the remainder of this and the next quarter.'

"His only acquisitions so far seem to have been a Ferrari and a villa a Marbella."

'Our house is being staged. Dad says we've got a good shot at getting in - if we can pass the audition.'

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

Large Property Portfolio - Please Help.

'I'm a homing-pigeon you see, but since I've invested in the property market, I'm confused as to which home to return to...'

Property managers dangling the threat of real estate holdings over corporations.

"Ha! Buying a house just so you can live in it. I'll never understand young people."