Property Hunt Enthusiast Pillows

And it's only a stone's throw from the local school.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'We'll take it!'

"Look, son, real estate."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

Starter Homes

"I know it's small and expensive, but wait till you see all the Pokemon."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'This is close enough.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

Dog Realtor

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.