Property Buyer Gifts

The real selling feature is the ocean front location.

Don't worry aobut the bell, the don't ring it at night!

'I thought this house sounded a bit cheap.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I've invested in property..."

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

Starter Homes

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."