Prop Master Appreciator Pillows

"Let’s run through that scene again with just the table and the lamp."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"It's Cinderella?!?"

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'This is close enough.'

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

William and Real Estate

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Real estate.