Prop Collector T-Shirts

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Employee of the month...

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'I knew the day would come when we'd regret moving next door to a genetic research facility.'

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

Orthopaedist

"And that's our newscast. Don't forget to follow us on the Web for up-to-the-minute reactions of everything we've just told you."

'How old is this vase?'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

Jazz Bagpipes

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'