Pronunciation Pro T-Shirts

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'I'll have the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a and chips.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"They grow up so fast."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"National security adviser"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A mother and baby elephant

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"That is one absorbent nappy."