Promise Pondering T-Shirts

Crowded Ice Fishing

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

Bumper Limos

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

How To Keep Promises

'Don't fight it, Fred - Just go with the flow.'

Exercise for the end of the day...

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

'Are you the dove of peace?' 'Yes. What the hell d'you want?'

This prescription doesn't have side efets. It's more like straight to the top and straight to the bottom.

"No, I'm not married. But that's beside the point. Now, quit changing the subject and answer the question."

"My mind is especially empty today."

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'

'Try not to remove any of my untapped potential.'

Answer to Prayers - NO